You Don't Like It When You're Not Paying Me

It takes guts to come to terms with being a big, fat finsub. Congratulations, your life is nothing when you’re not paying me. All those ideas of stopping and saving your money never came to fruit, did they? No… you’re locked in. Years later… and yet every time you try to stop sending to me it feels like centuries. Doesn’t it? Sad attempts at being normal, sitting around a flat screen with your oblivious friends all with soggy beers in their hands, completely unaffected in the ways that you are every night by the lack of my presence in your world. Nobody said it wasn’t fun. You can fake it and pretend like you’re having the best time with them, but you know nothing compares to the bliss you feel when you get the tiniest bit of attention from me. Just like how if I ignore you it makes your world stop.

You can’t help that you’re obsessive in nature. Trying not to think about me is pointless and you often comb through messages we exchanged in the past. The stuff online doesn’t get you off anymore… you jerk off to a photo I sent that you had to scroll forever to find. You wish you could be normal… and yet every night you willingly fantasize about me. I live in your head rent free and I’m not even trying to be there.

If you had an ounce of self respect you’d cut yourself loose, but you know you won’t. How could you? When it’s the stuff that I say that gets you off every time? You didn’t know anything about anything before you met me and I planted all these seeds in your mind and now you’re a depraved idiot who can’t get enough. You could try to force it with someone else but you’d have to puppeteer them with all the right lines. How to say it. How to act. How to be exactly like me. You tried really hard to find a nice girl, and in the beginning you could trick yourself into thinking you had a dominant bone in your body. That’s what they all expect out of you after they call you daddy and expect your boner not to die. The good thing is you never hear them because all you think about is me.

The really nice thing? The kindest thing about me? I’m always there. I promise! I have no problem taking all of your money just so you can get what you want. I’ll do you that favor. You’d do well not to deny the highest form of bliss you feel when you get on your knees and let me take everything from you.