What To Do If You're In Love With A Girl Who Ghosts You

It’s a cliche, undoubtedly, but when has your life ever not been embarrassing and predictable? You had to have known she would never be with you, let alone stay with you for the long haul, so if you’re surprised, you’re just stupid. She was never the type to be held down, especially by someone as average as you. You’re not memorable. You’re not the guy she tells all her friends and family about. In fact, she never mentions you to anybody because it’s better for her ego if she doesn’t. When asked, you are simply referred to as an acquaintance, you don’t get friend status, and for no other reason than the fact that you’re you, and a label to that extent would be charity by her. She’s not the type to do anything for free, and you know that all too well after ages of trying to woo her by calling the restaurant she’s about to go to with another guy and taking care of the whole tab, without a second thought. Whole paychecks out the window because she casually mentioned she liked a bag she saw at a brand you can’t pronounce and now it’s sitting in the back of her closet, ignored and dejected just as much as you are. You’d be delusional to think she’d be impressed by anything you can accomplish, but that hasn’t stopped you from trying. You’re lost without her.

Meeting her for the first time was when you really started living. You don’t care to remember a life before her. Bleakness, emptiness; an endless cycle of waking up to no purpose every day and futile attempts to numb your mind at night when all you see is her. You had never been in love before, never seen anyone like her, not in real life and not in all the films you watch in an attempt to escape your pathetically lonely life. She was an enigma and yet you understood perfectly that she was something not of this world. You felt angry, why did the rest of the world look upon her and not feel the need to get on their knees too? It just didn’t make sense, and through your devotion to her, you found a new sense of self. This is how life was meant to be lived.

It doesn’t matter that she left you. It doesn’t matter that one day she woke up and decided that was the last straw, that she wanted nothing more to do with you, and didn’t even think to let you know. Or maybe she did, but didn’t think enough of you to want to give you any form of closure. Not that you’d ever be able to get over her in your lifetime, but you know, some notice that your life is completely shattered would have been nice. The best part of all of this? She left you no trace. Not a single photo of you together exists, not in this universe. It’s like all of the beautiful moments you shared together: her shopping on your credit card, you holding the bags, her going on Hinge during dinner, you paying the tab, her filming a sex tape with another man, you sending her thousands of dollars in order to see it, just for you to be ignored. It was all so beautiful, and yet you don’t have any proof of it outside of your outstanding debts and the memory of her perfect face burned into your mind. Nobody, not even your closest friends, would ever believe she’d be so magnanimous to take you on as her own little project, so you don’t bother telling anyone. You’ve accepted that this is your peak, and you’d rather spend the rest of your days reliving these moments in your head with her than recreating it with anybody else. Besides, nobody could ever do it like her.