Mean GF Breaks Up With You
You spent a long, long time praying she would one day be yours.
Now you’re going to lose her.
Look at you. You’re a fucking loser. Stop thinking that just because you have a six figure job and a six inch dick it’s going to get you anywhere with her. You’re only hot because you’re tall. You’re only cute because she dresses you and made you throw away all of your subpar skincare and cheap smelling cologne. You’re a shell of a man without her, and when you’re with her, it’s the only time you like yourself. The only reason you are your best self is because of her.
It’s not like she forced you to be any type of way; quite the contrary, as you molded yourself to fit into her world so you could feel better about yourself. You taught yourself how to cook a full course meal to impress her. Went for the promotion at work so she would be proud of you. Took deep tissue massage classes so that you could be the one to make her feel good. The excuses you tell yourself.
Sex is a delicate topic for you. You know she had options before you, and she still does. Men are revving at the chance to breathe the air she breathes, let alone fuck her. You dropped the ball. Your stupid dick doesn’t work when you want it to, when she wants it to, and yet you find yourself aching to plunge yourself into her whenever she has not an inkling of desire for you. You know she likes other guys. You’ve seen the IG notifications, the cashapp sends for her mere existence. The 3am conversations she has while she thinks you’re fast asleep while you’re secretly jerking it to the sound of her philandry. They love her, and she’s supposed to be your girlfriend.
Life is better when you turn a blind eye from all the extras. It’s just you two against the world when you ignore all the late night conversations she has with her men. She only needs you when you delete from your mind her six figure savings accounts, courtesy of her many admirers. There is only you two in this universe when you don’t take account for the fact that she treats most everybody with grace and kindness, except you. You’re nothing to her but if you don’t think about it too hard, who cares? Who gives a shit about the fact that essentially you’re a butler, a mule, a pathetically silent sponsor? Some people would call her sadistic, but you think it’s sexy. You’d rather be a fly on her wall than go back to what you were before she acknowledged your existence: nothing.
Pre-her, your life was an endless void. And now you’re looking at your phone, the red notification flag, the only text you’ve received from her in days, burning into your brain. She wants to “talk”, wants to send you flailing back into a callused, Kleenex and lotion-filled oblivion. You’d rather die than lose her, but you can’t help but relish in that this is the most attention she’s given you in a long time. She’s been spending most nights away from your shared apartment (you occupy a broom closet, she gets the rest of it). “Work” she calls it. You know she’s never had to lift a finger in her life, and with you pumping your paycheck into her account every month, she definitely doesn’t need to. Deceit was always the best thing about her. Lie to me, you’d tell her. Sometimes she’d indulge you and say she loved you. Lie some more, you’d say.
What are the reasons she’d dump you? You try to brace yourself before she drops the bomb. 1) She made you 2) The sex is trash 3) She doesn’t need you in order to get what she wants in life. The odds aren’t in your favor. You know she only keeps men around that she can use as a tool, for upward advancement. Why would she ever entertain a man if there wasn’t something in it for her? That’s just how you like your women. She’s perfect. You’re all used up now and the allure of something new is gone, you’ll have to feign surprise when she tells you she’s done with you. Or maybe she won’t. Maybe she’ll ghost you. At least then you can keep pretending you’re not the loneliest, most broken man in the world.
