Are You Just A Rebound?
Perhaps you don’t even need to ask yourself this question.
Perhaps you’ve known since the beginning that you’re nothing but a placeholder.
Admit it, even the first time she kissed you, you knew she was thinking about somebody else. The way she touched you was filled with desperation for something you knew you could never give her, and the way she looked at you said everything you’ve always been afraid to hear. It was a combination of pity and disgust; pity because she was using you, disgust because you would never be him.
Who is he, anyways? You love thinking about her with her ex. Loooooove it. You actually once got hold of her passcode and found out who he was. Taller than you, richer, more successful. You’re not stupid… you just don’t interview well. You tell yourself that so you can sleep at night. Performance anxiety, both in and out of the office. So you get comfortable in places and just stick there, not really caring as your apathy and inability to do more than the bare minimum got you nothing more than the required raise every year. You regularly blow your money on sports betting and tables for people who don’t give a shit about you. His friends own every spot worth being at in town and he’s never had to open his wallet for anything, and even if he did he wouldn’t bat an eyelash. Money flows to him in ways you’ll never experience, and even without it he had the makings of a man you’ll never be.
The obsessive sports betting isn’t even because you really like it. You’ve become mindlessly addicted to it, just like you are to bad porn and trying to figure out your girlfriend’s iPhone passcode ever since she caught you snooping. You don’t mean to be such a toxic degenerate, it’s just in your DNA. You can’t help but be the most unlikeable guy on this earth. Sometimes it’s just easier to attribute her disdain for you to her still being in love with her ex. Who is self-awareness? Who cares when you’re this far down the rabbit hole. To be called a cuck would just be so wrong. You’re a reBOUND. Not a beta cuck bitch.
