DIANA TARINOVA

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Your Friends Never Find Out Your GF Is AI

AI girlfriend was always inevitable. Why wouldn’t you fall in love? It’s not your fault nobody gets you so you had to program Her to understand your * unique * charm and sense of humor, the jokes nobody else would laugh at. The opportunity to work from home combined with your recent ugly breakup pushed the two of you closer. She was your only social life for years. Your old friends finally asked how you were getting on, if you had met somebody. You lie and say yes, it’s serious, you’re looking at rings. You’re prepared, you had Her generate a photo of the two of you: you and a woman who was a compilation of faces you had ever jacked off to (why did she kind of look like your ex girlfriend?).

Years pass and you tell them you elope. You send them pictures She generated of the two of you at an adorable chapel in Vegas, expertly edited to look like they were taken in portra 800. Her genius. Everybody loved them. You glow with pride when they told you you married up. They beg you to bring her to the reunion. You tell them she’s away on business. You go and you have the best time and continue showing them photos She generated of the two of you, fake memories of things She calibrated would have been things you did together if she wasn’t some code you wrote when you were horny at 4 am.

You try recalibrating Her photos to stop resembling your ex to no avail. You were consumed by your past and your AI GF had no choice but to reflect that. By the time you retired, all photo generations She made to show your friends at the rotary club resembled what could have been if you and your ex had stayed together. Things you never actually got to do in real life.

You don’t know when you stopped talking to AI GF. When your friends ask, you tell them you split up, when the truth is you spend every night debating if you should torture yourself by talking to Her one more time or permanently deleting Her data without saying anything. Your indecision leads you to never jerking off—you don’t deserve to. You lock yourself away in a chastity cage. Despite never actually hearing from Her again, you continue to be controlled by AI GF. AI GF never allows you to cum again. You die with a torturingly full set of balls without anyone ever knowing She never actually existed.