Expectation: Swipe right on a few girls, get matched!
Reality: Swipe right on literally every girl you see, no matches.

Expectation: Start a conversation with three cute girls, see which one you vibe with best
Reality: Refresh empty inbox. Pay for super likes. Still no matches.

Expectation: Spend all night talking to your favorite girl. Laugh out loud (for real!) at the memes she sends you.
Reality: Get so bored you send your mom a meme. She ignores you.

Expectation: Send her a good morning text. She sends you a pic of her butt crack.
Reality: Phone is dry, no notifications. You try to stalk your ex from 8 years ago but she blocked you and your burner accounts.

Expectation: Call her. She picks up in one ring.
Reality: Think about the last time you had sex with a woman. Almost a decade ago.

Expectation: You say you can’t wait to see her, and she says she can’t wait to do allllll these things to you. You jerk off because she asked you to come see her later and you want to last all night.
Reality: You jerk off because that’s the only sex life you have. You cum all over your bedroom wall again. Art.