Not rich enough? Block him.

Not big enough? Block him.

Not hot enough? Block him

Nuts too fast? Block him.

Unable to make you squirt? Block him. Able to make you squirt? Still block him.

Not on his life insurance policy yet? Block him.

Loud about his money? Block him.

Doesn’t give you his credit card info? Block him. Doesn’t give you his car keys? Block him.

Doesn’t pick the best hotels every time? Block him. Doesn’t buy your flights? Block him.

Doesn’t shower all the women in your family with gifts? Block him.

Forgets your mom’s sister’s dog’s birthday? Block him.

Doesn’t have good taste in yachts? Block him.

Wears brands when he should be saving all his money for you instead? Block him. (The exception: a watch because they look soooooo fucking good when he’s fingering you)

Hasn’t flown you out to Paris just to buy Dior and eat pasta? Block him.

Hasn’t bought you a house yet? Block him. Hasn’t bought you new boobs yet? Block him.

Hasn’t pre-booked a surrogate mother for your two perfect children because there’s no way you’re going to ruin your body over those rich brats yet? Block him.

Hasn’t eaten the cum of one of your many lovers? Block him.

Has yet to let you use him as a human toilet? Block him.

Doesn’t beg you to be used a human atm? Block him.

You deserve the best, queens! Block him. And email me your favorite block stories for me to share <3 we all love a good laugh at these bitches.