6 Reasons Your Wife Won't Have Sex With You Anymore
1) You can’t dress for shit. Your ill-fitting pants make you look like a disproportionate sissy bitch. They also reveal how small your package is. Your shirts show off your man-boobs and the only reason you don’t have embarrassing shoes is because she bought them for you.
2) You eat like shit and look like it. Instant noodles, every night. Little does she know you’re trying really hard to save money by eating all the ramen, for finsub needs. All she sees is a pink, bloated pig with man boobs so big you can’t even see your pinclit past them.
3) You don’t stay hard. She’s so tired of you having to excuse yourself while you stroke it to the thought of serving your goddess. She’s the only chance at sex you’ll ever have, and just like the rest of your life, you competely fumble it. It doesn’t matter to her anymore because she’s just purchased the biggest, mortifyingly thick vibrator and she doesn’t care how loud she is with it in the middle of the night.
4) You can’t assert yourself. It is so embarrassing how much you get pushed around. If someone disrespected you or your wife in the street you wouldn’t even have the balls to say anything. She’s over being with a cowardly bitch who lets everyone walk all over him. You know it’s humiliating but you’re too much of a spineless lump of cells to do anything about it. Every time you open your mouth it’s literally an embarrassment to mankind.
5) You have no drive in life. Your boss, colleagues, and underlings all ignore you. You literally fade into the walls at work and no one notices you are there. You’ve been at the same job for years, and you’re too boring and untalented to be considered for anything better. That and the fact that you keep fucking up all your presentations because you keep smoking tons of weed to dull the feeling of being a complete failure.
6) You never buy her gifts. You simply can’t afford to! You spend all your money on women online—desperately trying to feel something for once. For your anniversary you forgot because you stayed up ever night that week jerking off to simp shit online. Surprise surprise, no anniversary sex. That’s two years in a row now. Maybe next year, but more likely, never.
