3 Reasons You'll Never Marry
You have no social skills. You think you do but you really don’t. Everything you say is a complete turn off to women and they instantly know you’re a loser. You’ll do anything to get laid and they can tell the second you open your mouth. You have to let your friends do the talking for you when you go out—yeah, you’re the guy who asks his friends to ask girls out for him. It never works.
You have a staring problem. You’re a fucking creep and you love looking at women without a care in the world. Everyone thinks you’re a nasty pervert who’s obviously never had sex before. Yeah, it’s totally obvious you’re a virgin loser reeking of desperation. They’ve even called you out on it—embarrassing you in public—but you make up for it by making burner accounts and calling them whores on Instagram (after jerking off to pictures of their boyfriends, of course).
You want to be locked up. You have a masturbation problem, a spending problem, and a perverted obsession with hot Asian girls on Twitter that has gotten you blackmailed into whoring your butthole out for extra cash. Your last girlfriend left you because you were so perpetually horny you would never reach climax, thanks to your multiple jerk off finsub humiliation skype sessions per day. You want chastity training in a pathetic attempt to fix yourself, and yet we all know nobody’s going to lock down a pathetic beta whose dick is all locked up. Nobody wants a gooning fiend with a lock on his penis as a husband.
